There are always a downside and an upside to everything. When it comes to long-term relationships, even that has its advantages and disadvantages. It is a loving and secure relationship as two people have spent enough time with each other. People reach a level of intimacy where they no longer need to close the door before just going to the bathroom. However, where all the comfort level lies so do all the problems. You do not even realize and you are in a rut where sex has also become a chore. You are just sleeping with each other once a week and that too in the laziest position possible. Then you just roll over and go back to sleep, wake up next morning and go to work.
Not many people agree or admit to it but things do simmer down between people. And keeping the passion and spark alive is not easy to do. There are a million times when you want to have sex and want to show your love to your partner but you would just rather watch your best Netflix show and literally chill instead. But sex is important in a relationship, it has its benefits and it also keeps your bond intact. It has its psychological and physiological benefits to it. Especially if you are regular about it rather than occasional.
If you have been with your partner for a while now and things are not as amazing as before – you are leading to stagnation. It’s about time that you mix and shake things up. There are a few things that you can do to make things more exciting and rejuvenate things. You can take it as a fun activity rather than looking at it like a chore.
1. Have Morning Sex At Least Once A Week
According to research morning sex will do wonders for you. Science backs up the claim that not only will it be less self-conscious but it will also be a good start for the day. You wake up to happiness and your day runs smoothly for hours till end. Both the people in the relationship have higher levels of happy hormone and extra energy to do their routinely work.
2. Don’t Be Afraid To Surprise Your Partner
There are many people out there who claim that they do not like surprises and throw a bit of a tantrum when faced with one. We all know that regardless of how you react to a surprise, you secretly still love it deep down inside. And when you talk about surprise sex – NO ONE HATES IT.
When you get back home from work and you see that your partner is in the mood and they want to please you towards the end of the day – there is nothing like it. You stand there silently when they slowly unbutton your shirt and drag you to the bed. The whole charm of this is that this cannot happen on a daily basis otherwise it would lose its charm. A surprise is only for marked occasions.
3. Take An Evening To Share Your Ultimate Fantasies
The best thing about dating someone for a long time is that you are not conscious in front of them and you are open about your likes and dislikes. There is no shyness or awkwardness there. So now, you can very easily voice your fantasies and your partner will be more willing to drive into them rather than judging you over it. If a person explains what all turns them on and if you love them you are ready to do all those things just to please them. So have a productive conversation about what you would like be it role-play or toys. In addition, find a common ground where both the partners can enjoy themselves. We also have to keep in mind that some things are better left as fantasies and are not entirely possible – so keep your mind open to that and not dive into something like this thoughtlessly.
There are times that you think you know everything about a person but you will be surprised. People can also develop the liking for new things over time and a conversation will help you uncover them.
4. Flirt Like You Mean It
Flirting is not just a tool to get the person you like, it is something that should continue and not end. The only purpose of flirting is not to get your target of affection but to keep things exciting and playful. This is another way of communication to your partner that you still find them attractive and boost their ego. Even if you are not intending to have sex, you can always throw them a sign here and there to create that tension. Another plus point to this is that you do not get out of the game and get rusty either – not that you should use that on someone else.
5. Make A Plan to Try One New Sex Position a Month
There are books like ‘Kama Sutra’ for a very valid reason. Just sticking to one flavor of ice cream even sounds boring let alone making your taste buds go through that torture. There are many positions that can be incredible fun if you take the slight effort of trying them out. You can’t just get so lazy that you only have intercourse in a missionary position. Also keeping realistic expectations in mind as you cannot be a master of sex – or be super good at it the first time around. Maybe trying it a few times will help you get better and take the maximum out of it. Trying new position is essential and it is the easiest way to keep things alive and kicking.
6. Get To Third Base Someplace Public-ish
Why just stick to your bedroom when you can make the world your oyster? There are multiple places where you can get it on and have the thrills attached to it. It is boring to have safe sex away from prying eyes or the thrill of being caught. Having sex in the same setting can be boring very quick. However, that certainly does not mean you should start shagging in a public park but you can try adventurous things like going hiking and going to third base in a secluded place. Having a checklist for different places can be fun on its own.
7. Meet Each Other For The First Time — Again
I think everyone has done a few clichéd role-playing in their lives but that does not mean that you are limited on the roles. You can even try ‘role playing’ in places other than your bedroom or your home. If you are flying off somewhere or on a vacation, you can try new things over there. How about you seriously play this game and pretend as if you do not know each other and act like you are meeting each other for the first time in your life.
8. Make Out. Often.
Making out and foreplay is so underestimated that you can’t even imagine. Penetration and reaching orgasms is not the only thing at the end of the day. Foreplay can make things hot in ways that you can’t imagine. Other times you can just leave it half way through instead of ending up having sex also. Small make outs here and there will only increase the sexual tension between you two and make things more playful at the end of the day.
If it was in my hands, I would kiss my partner for hours till end but unfortunately I do not have time. Only if a person did not have to spend half the day earning a living we would be able to spend more time with each other.
9. Take Advantage Of Technology
Imagine all the times you have sent a dirty text to your partner would you be rich? Well you should be, that is how often you should be sext-ing your partner. Not only that but also other things like dropping nudes will make wonder happen. One always needs an extra push to get things started and this is the way to do it. This way you can even look forward to come home, hoping that things will not be gloomy and monotonous.
10. Watch Porn Together
Kindly let go of the thought that only men watch porn, women enjoy it equally. It is unfortunate that all the porn being made is mostly men-centric but women enjoy what is down their alley. Watching porn might even give your ideas about the things you will like in bed. You will only find out if you try and maybe it is something that both of you can enjoy. There are people who do not like visuals, as they don’t do the trick for them. If you are one of those people, you can even read erotic stories that are available on the internet.
11. Tease Each Other
Teasing is always a good way to bug your partner in a jovial manner. You can do it with words or even your actions. If you do not like doing both, you can always do it expressions also. This will only lead a person to thinking about what you did and find this sexual attention exciting.
12. End Every Argument With Make-Up Sex
There should be a rule like kissing your partner every time you leave the house or just simply dealing with matters and arguments and later having sex. There is nothing better than to speak your mind, let everything out and feel easy. And when you are done doing that you can always end it with a bang.
13. Play ‘Everything But’
Not everyone is aware of this game but it can be very interesting to play. In this game you can do anything but have sex – so anything that is not included in intercourse is allowed. This way you will explore new areas of foreplay and eventually banging each other will become worth it too.
14. Communicate What Feels Good (And What Needs Work)
The whole point of having good sex and making sure you can have that experience again is to communicate it to your partner. The next time around they can even make it better for you. This way a person knows what they are doing right and whether their partner is liking it or not. What you feel is very important and it should be in your partner’s knowledge.
15. Add Sex Toys To The Mix
The array of sex toys out there makes your life much easier. There are so many new things out there that you can play with that you will never run out of toys. It is all about making sure that you are open to the idea and will not take it on your ego that on has to substitute a toy instead of you – that is the wrong approach to it. Being open to new ideas will only open your possibilities of fun and pleasure.
16. Embrace The Magic Of Foreplay
Men usually directly want to go to the point, they do not realize that waiting it out will actually lead them to a better ending. Foreplay can do magic for people instead of constantly having quickies. If the buildup is better, the better the end – its simple logic.
17. Put Your Pride On The Line
Not everyone can be good at doing a striptease – it is pure talent. One has to be super confident and comfortable in their skin to do it. However, that certainly does not mean that you do not try, you never know that you have a hidden talent.