She just couldn’t take the body-shaming
She was the first person to win on the now-iconic singing competition show American Idol, and it took her life on a rollercoaster of emotions. When she was singing her heart out in front of thousands, she was on top of the world. However, coming back down to the real-world pressures put upon her took her to extreme lows. Kelly Clarkson finally revealed that things got so dark for her that she contemplated ending it all at times.
She’s on a brighter path now, but she wants everyone to know her struggle so that they can be stronger.
The First Winner
Kelly Clarkson was the adorable brunette Texan girl who stole the show on the very first season of American Idol in 2002. She was gifted with a record deal from RCA Records, 19 Recordings, and S Records.
Her burgeoning career was orchestrated by music mogul Clive Davis. He drove her to become a pop princess. She even starred alongside the runner-up season one American Idol winner Justin Guarini in the 2003 musical movie From Justin to Kelly.
During her time in the spotlight, Kelly was pressured to stay as thin as possible, and it nearly broke her. “When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself. I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense, she said in an interview with Attitude Magazine. “It was a very dark time for me. I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time.”
By 2007, Kelly was arguing with Clive Davis over the production of her album My December. It was then that she realized she just couldn’t live such a high-pressure life anymore. She stopped working with Clive and fired her manager.
She said about the noticeably-dark album:
“There’s a song on My December called ‘Sober.’ There’s this line ‘picked the weeds but kept the flowers’ and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with. I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there too. It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light.”
She kept releasing albums on RCA Records, but her image was changing. She was making a variety of music and touring on her own accord. Her weight noticeably fluctuated throughout the years, and she received a ton of criticism from professionals in the industry as well as her fans.
“I think what hurts my feelings for people is that I’ll have a meet and greet after the show and a girl who’s like bigger than me will be in the meet and greet and be like, ‘Wow, if they think you’re big I must be so fat to them,’” Kelly said in an interview with Ellen Degeneres. “And it’s like, you’re just who you are. We are who we are — whatever size. And it doesn’t mean that we’re gonna be that forever.”
After accepting herself for who she is, Kelly has been one happy lady in the last years. She married her manager’s son Brandon Blackstock in 2013 and had two children with him. Kelly loves being a mom to three-year-old River Rose and one-year-old Remington Alexander. She’s also a stepmom to Brandon’s two children.
Kelly made a huge change in her career by signing with Atlantic Records in the summer of 2016. Since then, she’s been working on her new soul-influenced album Meaning of Life. It’s set to be released on October 27.
Kelly feels that this music will sound different than her previous songs because she feels more free to be herself. She told 97.1 AMP Radio in September, “I listened to all these songs for the last 15 years, you can tell there’s a suppressed individual in there. It’s very liberating to work in an environment that’s healthy.”
As previously reported, she’s also set to be a voice coach on the hit singing competition show The Voice.
Kelly is on a great path right now, but she wants to make sure that her daughter and all of her fans don’t feel victimized like she once was. She talked to People at Variety’s Power of Women event about how she raises her kids:
“I said ‘You tell mommy if somebody does anything inappropriate. You stand up for yourself.’ Even from a young age, I think you should instill that people, your children, should always stand up for themselves or speak out when something is wrong. I think if we start it at that young age, and you start molding people and growing to these very elevated individuals that help elevate society. It’s a really crucial time when you have children right now.”
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